Never Not Funny Episode 1121; Jimmy Pardo welcomes Maria Bamford
In-Studio Notes by Garon Cockrell
@mariabamfoo / MariaBamford.com
New special: “The Special Special Special” online at Chill.com on November 28!
00 – Welcome to the show! Jimmy forgets what he is doing immediately. Never forget 11! 21 buy your booze! Jimmy had to find a local LA Fitness to shower. Group Showers at the LA Fitness on Coldwater and Chandler. Jimmy had a whore’s bath. Jimmy is anti group shower. Jimmy has a crazy collar. Hi Adam! Once before at a gym Jimmy came across a fan listening to the show while he worked out. Congrats to the San Francisco Giants for winning the world series!!
05 – Jimmy likes every surf movie except for the surfers. He loves a wave. Bruce Smith calls in and Jimmy takes the call. He turned down an audition for a sitcom. All sponges to clean up after Sandy. We’re gonna sponge sandy. Is spongebob gonna be okay?
10 – Go around the room! Respect the office of the president. 87 degrees, allergens, pollen dust. I like that unnatural look. Hello Eliot! Back to the OMD look. Matt rocking an awesome Inigo Montoya shirt.
15 – Maria does not do a Michael McDonald. Jason Pardo and Jimmy get each others audition’s occassionally. Maria knows Jason Pardo from Improv classes at Improv Olympics. Jimmy apologizes on air to Eliot for an off air joke.
20 – Eliot is on fire today! Not a positive! Maria says she can do Eliot’s job. Jimmy says with Eliot teaching Maria would lose focus in the first session. Sammy Hagar can’t type 55.
Maria’s Special Special Special for her parents. Jackie Kashian opens the show. Wayne Federman also appears. Kimball on dog! Dogs went hyper when pizza arrived. Mother Brother Brownstone Pizza. Mother Brownstone.
25 – High speed rail would have been best for the underground railroad. Build it and use it! Jimmy’s biggest fear: accused of a crime he didn’t commit and going to prison for it (Jimmy frightened of going into the bathroom where a kid is and beign acussed of “looking at him” also of waking up during surgery and not able to say anything). Maria covers a fall from grace trip to the Phillipines witch itchy sweaters and one string banjos.
30 – Johnny Got His Gun (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0067277/). Maria suggests a living will to make sure Jimmy doesn’t end up a Torso that can’t talk. Jimmy resets the stage! Jordan Brady directs Maria’s special. Maria paid both her parents a sweet $500 in cash for appearing in her special. Maria’s mom spent her payment before she got it! The hollywood way! Eileen Fisher sweaters – mourning clothes. Her mom isn’t ready for flip and powder.
35 – Needs to be a logo or icon for any area with nudity involved. Matt says dick and balls. Two Os and a U. Jimmy now owes two apologies to Eliot. Charles Dickens indeed wrote Oliver Twist. Maria’s family gives used books as gifts.
40 – Diving into Garon Chat again! Maria thinks Noah’s Ark on Logo is a delight! (I think it is terrible!). Working on a commercial is like being a temp. Maria Bamford is going to be on the new season of Arrested Development!! maria says just a small part. Matt says there are no small parts.
45 – Oliver is going as Robin for Halloween. Jimmy says Quivers, Daniel is Howard and Jimmy is Bababooey. Oliver wants him to be batman but Jimmy wants to be a vampire. Judyism: Where the ladder lives. Danielle hates Sizzler so Jimmy went to Sizzler. It was jaammmeedd. Maria wonders if it is an “end of the month thing” when people got checks. Matt says the Grove was jammed as well. Jimmy wonders when he will remember Matt has two kids.
50 – Jimmy finds Chico’s fishy. Fuck Chicos! Maria says they have signature necklaces and boxy jewelry. Maria Bamford is our guest. Jimmy finally tells the story! Maria was supposed to be here at 11:50 but got here at 12:09 (10). Jimmy reminds us about the issue with the neighbor smoking an shaving in the walkways. Maria’s phone goes off. She gets up and grabs her phone to turn it off. Maria purse chat! No candy from J Crew at the grove. Jimmy calls the neighbor a fucking dick when he rushed to get to the bathroom before Jimmy did. then a standoff in the hall! No eye contact, total avoidance from the bad guy. Jimmy knows two things about this guy: Clean shaven, lung cancer. Maria wants to go talk to him. Maria’s tiger impression, you can’t understand it because it’s in FUCKING TIGER!
We’ll be back!!
00 – We’re back! Debating if women are funny or not. Jimmy used a cock instead of a cork to learn to enunciate. Maria suggests to “put a cock in it.” Jimmy doesn’t get the massages in acting class. Jimmy recounts a time during his week on Becker when Teddy D. called everyone in “Time for the circle!” Maria’s special is called The Special Special Special. Annoying phrases: Irregardless, at the end of the day. Invented one from Maria: When the clock turns midnight.
05 – Jimmy sets the stage. Maria since season one. Jimmy lists the season one guests. Maria calls him archival. Twitter folks quoting Jimmy’s Bill Paxton twister impression. NY expecting the FDR to be flooded! Maria asks JImmy what his restaraunt would be called and serve: Italian food and Jimmy’s. Clothes: Gentlemen’s suits, Jimmy’s. Maria’s: Salad and Ice Cream, Caeser’s Creamers. clothes: Nighties and flannely nightgowns, Glannels. Matt’s is going to be taking Maria’s inventory and turning them into stuffed animals. Glanimals. SIDE NOTE: Glannels is a Gay Flannel according to Urban Dictionary. Emphasis on INsurance bothers Jimmy. Say it that way, “you are a billy.” Female hillbillies: Jillbillies or hillbillie jean.
10 – Candy corn chat. Jimmy wanted the steak and malibu chicken combo but sizzlers was too crowded. Stupid question of the week time!! From Harry @HCNelson – What is your favorite acronym: Jimmy: SNAFU Situation Normal: All Fucked Up. Matt: POTUS President of the United States. Maria: FEAR, Fuck everything and run, Face everything and recovery, false evidence appearing real. Jimmy asks if she thinks he is Paul Gilmartin. Mine is FUBAR Fucked Up Beyond All Recognition Eliot: courtesy of his sister: CLIT Counseler Leader in Training. Jimmy likes hearing MOD over the loudspeaker at stores. BREAKS: When someone tells an anectdote about their sister.
20 – Buttons: @brownlisted Hulk Hogan or Randy Savage? Jimmy goes Randy Savage. Matt abstains because he thought he was in They Live.
Sparklers or Firecrackers? Maria says firecrackers for the challenge. Jimmy is afraid of fires so he’s against both. Maria has an incindiary question: Spanish or Catalons. All mandibles on the outside portion of your house: All Hands on Deck. Eliot knows his stuff when it comes to sparklers or firecrackers.
25 – The worst and Matt’s favorite of all time!
Joe Dunn: What’s 58 + 11? #mybrother Up top! Maria likes how he thinks.
30 – Maria heads out. Stupid question: Least trustworthy fast food: Jimmy says Denny’s. Thumbs up for Taco Bell Nacho Bel Grande and their new bowl. Argo is great according to Jimmy and Matt. @MattKrause813: Most overrated restaraunt? JImmy says Benihana. Dropping dough to wach the guy flip and flop. Matt says Dibelas. Matt gives credit to Eliot for calling the lawnmower.
Tweet or Facebook the meaning for B.R.E.A.K.S. NNF fans!
35 – Jimmy has to go listen to more Marilion. We’re done. What a joy. Chik-Fil-et most overrated restaraunt. Jimmy throws down some Heart.
PopCultureBeast.com – Garon INDHD.com – Eliot ASpecialThing.com – Matt Pardcat.com – Jimmy.
Youtube.com/Nerdist to watch Write Now!
See you next week!
-Garon/The Whistler/The Beast/The Cuban Defector
AK-47 gone, not forgotten.