NeverNotNotes

1102 – Talkin’ Baseball with Tommy Johnagin

For episode 1102 of Jimmy Pardo’s award-winning podcast Never Not Funny, Jimmy and Matt Belknap welcome Tommy Johnagin. They guys talk about Tommy’s time on Last Comic Standing, Jimmy throwing out the first pitch/toss at a Chicago White Sox game, and the finer points of catching a foul ball without being an ass about it or getting killed or injured.

 

Intro

We welcome all kinds, including Hispantics, Jews, Gentiles, Goys, Eye-talians and others

Tommy Johnagin

Eliot’s new video intro is awesome, so he’s fired

Weird Al’s fake Beatles parody Day Workers

Jimmy welcomes all kinds

Eliot has a magician’s jacket

Dan’s Van Halen shirt is too small

Jimmy had a high school letter jacket, believe it or not

5:00

The high school sports career and letter jacket of Wheels Belknap

Jimmy wears the clothes of the stars

Matt’s Sundance jacket

Jim Glass from Frito-Lay sent more snacks

Eliot’s video looks great, despite Jimmy wanting nothing to do with it

Jimmy fires Eliot for making such a great video intro

10:00

Eliot survives a RARE compliment from Jimmy

Jimmy falsely assumes no one cares about how he’s doing

Jimmy’s attention span is shorter than a goldfish (No emails about the Mythbusters goldfish episode, please)

The many awards of Never Not Funny

aspecialthing.com won an award from Rooftop Comedy, but is now a desert

Tommy Johnagin and Jimmy met “in the middle of nowhere” but not Montana

It was Rapid City, home of Mt. Rushmore and other interesting things that Jimmy stubbornly refused to see because it might involve dealing with people

15:00

Tommy was on Last Comic Standing and is from somewhere in Illinois

Jimmy Pardo and Matt Belknap

Basketball talk, featuring Michael Jordan and Steve Kerr

Every car dealer in Detroit is a former Lions player

Jimmy is mad at Eliot for laughing at something that isn’t funny

Jimmy needs to find a Japanese room divider or prostitute

Yes, Jimmy used the term “Jap pro”

20:00

Tommy Johnagin lost Last Comic Standing to Felipe Esparza

Tommy is just fine being a sore loser

Mike Kaplan: white guy with glasses

Jimmy made Tommy take off his prescription sunglasses

Dan will fetch Tommy’s real glasses, by the gear-shifter-thing

Dan’s condescending shoulder-tap leaves Jimmy silently stunned

By how many votes did Tommy lose?

25:00

News flash: people treat losers different than winners

Recapping the Last Comic Standing comics

Dan is back in a tight four minutes, and a tight shirt

Jimmy confronts Dan’s condescending tap, which Dan says signified friendship

Dan slept at the rehab, which may have contibuted to the shoulder-tap

30:00

Dan is not at liberty to say what happens at the rehab WHETHER THE MICROPHONES ARE ON OR OFF, GOOGLE!

A helicopter near Jimmy’s house was yelling at traffic

Jimmy was not sitting around in his robe and flip-flops; robe and house shoes, maybe

Jimmy has a reason for the helicopters in Matt’s West Hollywood neighborhood

35:00

The Pardo form is often admired, yet never imitated

Jimmy talks about throwing out the first pitch at the White Sox game

Jimmy gets distracted from his own story by his own finger

Interrupting the White Sox story for an update on last week’s zoo story

Jimmy is bruised from the zoo-tackle

Jimmy’s request for the zoo video is ignored

Interrupting the zoo story, which interrupted the White Sox story to take care of in-studio audio issues

40:00

Back to the White Sox by way of Jimmy Dreams

Comiskey, not Cominskey, you white trash asshole hillbillies

Jimmy’s dad doesn’t listen to Never Not Funny, and that’s… okay!

45:00

Jimmy’s pre-pitch interview

First pitch vs. first toss

Gold Coast seats at the White Sox game may involve waiting on tables

“Who wants a beef?”

Jumbotron Jimmy

Jimmy practiced his throw in the days prior to his pitching

FYI: Little league baseball diamond: 45 feet from mound to plate; Pro diamond: 60 feet

50:00

No where to warm up at the field

Jimmy’s pre-pitch interview was on the Jumbotron

Jimmy gets a White Sox jersey

Jimmy’s ball reaches the catcher’s mitt; ball or strike? We may never know!

Oliver is proud of Jimmy

55:00

A quick recap of last week’s foul-catching story

Tommy’s lack of experience in fielding from the stands

Tommy’s hint for husbands: if your wife is smacked in the face with a baseball, stop watching the game

BREAK

Jimmy starts the show with a mouthful of nuts, but don’t call him about it!

Tommy and Jimmy love c’shews

Tommy’s family; you may need an organizational chart

1:00:00

Tennessee Tommy

Jimmy listens to Prime Country

Jimmy gets into an argument with a country fan that exists in his head

Loving and hating Trace Adkins

You’re Gonna Miss This

Do terrorists cry?

Joe Diffie Google Alert

1:05:00

Dan is still looking up Japanese room dividers

Jimmy’s 1994 Jennifer breakup turned him on to pop-country

Jackie Mason, comedy legend

Coulda Been Me

Meeting Jackie Mason: great the first time

Tommy sings all country songs just like Coulda Been Me

1:10:00

Tommy and Jimmy geek out over the best country songs

Matt deconstructs country

Country Matt should be a new character to complement Cajun Jimmy

Ty Herndon’s tragic life, arrest, and weight gain

Jimmy’s 2am rest area bathroom proposition

Tommy’s similar experience

1:15:00

Sleeping (or not) in rest areas

Tommy’s better option for sleeping on the road: truck stops

Tommy’s CD sales

How much to charge for CDs

1:20:00

Tommy needs to be on AST Records, or Jimmy’s go-to record label

Never Not Funny Volume I in the Conan gold tourney gift bags

Dick Van Dyke and Mary Tyler Moore as Rob and Laura Petrie, America’s sweetet couple

Tommy’s soon-to-be born baby might be a fighter

Matt’s daughter does not conform the rules of society

The Dick Van Dyke baby birth episode is before Tommy’s time

Tommy’s comedy beginnings

1:25:00

New Year’s Ever comedy shows

Comedy Club owners: finger food lovers!

Comedy Club owners: there’s a few good ones

TommyJComedy.com

Jimmy misses his Anka-like “cleaning house” rants

1:30:00

Jimmy calls Tommy’s podcast bluff

Jimmy’s Dan Katz impression

Matt: “The fans of country music might not know how to get a podcast”

Lookit dem boots!

Rob and Laura Petrie kept the spice in their marriage after all those years

Random country songs and artists

1:35:00

Dan Katz: fast in a crisis, slow at the internet

A gentle, low-key hammer-slice

Go see Tommy Johnagin live!

Tommy: “How do you mug me now, standin’ thar with you!”

AK-47 gone, not forgotten

In-Studio notes by Dan Katz

Tommy Johnagin

0 – We welcome all races to NNF. Eliot did a great job on the video intro to season 11 and is fired. Dan is wearing a tight Van Halen shirt.

5 – Jimmy and Matt talk about high school letterman jackets.

10 – Jimmy yells at Eliot for getting up out of his chair. The guys talk about the new NNF shelf. Jimmy gives the history of his friendship with guest Tommy Johnagin.

15 – The guys talk about basketball. Jimmy thinks about getting a Japanese prostitute to deal with separating the NNF tech from the talent.

20 – 25: Dan leaves to get Tommy’s glasses.

30 – Dan didn’t get a lot of sleep last night. Jimmy talks about a helicopter situation from last night.

35 – Jimmy’s zoo situation mentioned last week appears to have been covered up.

40 – 50: Jimmy talks about getting to throw the opening pitch at a White Sox game.

55 – The guys talk about when Jimmy’s son Oliver got the foul ball at the Angels game. Tommy talks about when a woman got hit in the face with a ball.

BREAK

0 – Jimmy just ate a bunch of cashews. Tommy explains his family tree. Jimmy and Tommy both like country music.

5 – The guys talk about emotional terrorists.

10 – The guys talk again about country music again.

15 – Jimmy and Tommy talk about guys jerking off in front of them at rest stops.

20 – The guys talk about gold and c-sections.

25 – Jimmy and Tommy talk about a club they used to do called Comedy Etc.

30 – Jimmy talks about cleaning house. The guys talk about country music again.