1009 – Gary Gulman

 

PARDCAST.COM MESSAGE BOARD FOR THIS EPISODE

Intro

Jimmy is standing up, which means something

Jimmy has zero interest in knowing what the episode number is

Gary adds some fake laughter to spice up the show

OneKolor.com shoutout

Confusion over the Facebook/Dan’s Disco Pants Challenge ™

5:00

Jimmy might be playing strip clubs

Jimmy’s killer Jay Leno impersonation, which may not be Leno at all

The calendar-stealing bastard has made things difficult for the guys to figure out dates

Children’s game: Seven Up

“Erection Format”

Nose-blowing Jimmy has to be off-camera

The toilet paper bears

Matt calls out Dan on his “fake-glasses-as-rain-goggles” scheme

10:00

The ethnicity of the Pardo name

Ramping up to Gary’s introduction, Jimmy has to stop to discipline Dan

Gary was on Last Comic Standing

Remembering John Heffron; he’s not dead, they’re just remembering him

Gary talks about Last Comic Standing, and the wrong-headed Season 3 premise

15:00

Rich Voss’s Patrice O’Neal tribute

Mistakes and goofs at solemn ceremonies

Someone’s knocking at the door; could be Uncle Ernie

Jimmy has a question: how old to have to be before bashful bladder goes away

The valet is at the door and wants to be paid now

20:00

Kurt Rambis and the Showtime Lakers

Jimmy proves that he knows very little about the pre-1995 Lakers

70s vs. 80s: The Battle of the Decades

1980 hit songs

25:00

Gary makes an unprecedented and unannounced leap to the bathroom in mid-conversation

Doubts arise about whether Gary actually listens to the show

Gary says he ruined the whole thing by slam-drinking coffee

Defining irony

Dave Coulier and Jeff Foxworthy: handsome in person

30:00

Competing for the “nice guy” prize among comedians

Can anyone really “earn” being a dick?

Conan writer Brian Kiley, nicest tucked-in guy around

Gary on Conan

Duelling Lenos

35:00

Back to guessing the number one song from 1980

Was Toni Tenille sexy?

Gary sings Designer Music

Matt guesses the group, and eventually the song

40:00

Jimmy saw cocaine in 7th grade

Gary’s neighbors the Himler (NOT Himmler!) family

Killing regional accents

Gary’s Chicago racist accent

45:00

Gary’s mall performances

Gary’s mom: friends with everyone

Gary’s false baseball-card stealing accusation

Matt’s Mad Minute Multiplication Mayhem

50:00

Gary’s childhood tape-recorded show

Flatulence code-words

Mick Lazinski’s mid-show potty break

Fred Stoller’s standup and acting

55:00

Jimmy’s off-nights comedy club idea

Gary’s New York club shows

Why Gary moved to New York

If I like you, I’ll make fun of you

1:00:00

What is the deal with Origins gumballs?

Is it ok for famous comedians to be hacky?

Laughing at repeat jokes

1:05:00

Show prep is easier for a suit-comic

Like Mr. Rogers, Jimmy is a sellout to Big Cardigan (joke stolen)

The golden age of development deals

Don’t waste development dollars on young comics

1:10:00

Revisiting old wounds from Pardcastathon 2011

The most abrupt and awkard throw-to-break in the history of NNF

BREAK

Vocabulary word of the day: prescient

Gary brought Nothing Bundt Cakes

Jimmy can add Alan Arkin to his impersonation arsenel

Jimmy offers everyone a bundt cake. Everyone but Matt.

Gary on XM Comedy

1:15:00

Residual money from XM is a godsend, like a second job

Jimmy head-fakes Gary into revealing his XM residuals

Gary, by his own admission, has brought a terrific gift

Gary falls for the Dale Carnegie methods every time

Buying a new car for Danielle

The wonderful features of Danielle’s new car: gas cap and glove box

1:20:00

What is the deal with glove compartments?

Matt: the over-analyzing unfunny guy

Bundtinis!!!

Apparently car choice is a much more private topic to Jimmy than masturbation, sex, raising Oliver, or therapy

The NNF crew really likes Jimmy; who’d o’ thunk?

Paul Giamatti is younger than Jimmy

Dylan Walsh should play Jimmy in the Never Not Funny movie

1:25:00

Neil Patrick Harris vs. Jason Bateman

Eric Bana as Gary Gulman

Jewish holiday rituals

1:30:00

Gary feels he is an unworthy guest

Gulman predicts how he will be trashed by the comedy nerds

Bombing and killing: what’s it like?

Hey, Jimmy, are you still doing the comedy thing?

AK-47 gone, not forgotten

 

In-studio notes by Dan Katz

Gary Gulman

0 – Jimmy is standing right now. Jimmy forgets which episode # it is. Let’s get some disco pants for Dan. Jimmy is gonna start doing stand-up at strip clubs. Jay Leno pops in for a while.

5 – The guys talk about Gabrielle Carteris of Beverly Hills 90210.

10 – Jimmy ramps up guest Gary Gulman.

15 – Gary’s valet guy shows up.

20 – The guys talk about basketball.

25 – 40: I didn’t have my computer.

45 – Gary talks about his job working for a baseball selling store. He got accused of stealing. He was innocent. He started crying, which was considered an admission of guilt. Gary talks about a talk show he did when he was 11 called “The Fart Show.”

50 – The guys talk about the woes of stand-up.

55 – Gary talks about being a comic in NY.

60 – The guys talk about what kind of clothes to wear while doing comedy.

65 – The guys talk about comedians who land tv shows.

BREAK

0 – Gary brought some cupcakes. The guys talk about checks they get from XM radio.

5 – The guys love salesmen who say your name when you talk to them.

10 – Who would play who in the Never Not Funny movie?

15 – The guys talk Jewish. The guys talk about question that civilians ask comedians.