1009 – Gary Gulman
Jimmy is standing up, which means something
Jimmy has zero interest in knowing what the episode number is
Gary adds some fake laughter to spice up the show
Confusion over the Facebook/Dan’s Disco Pants Challenge ™
Jimmy might be playing strip clubs
Jimmy’s killer Jay Leno impersonation, which may not be Leno at all
The calendar-stealing bastard has made things difficult for the guys to figure out dates
Children’s game: Seven Up
Nose-blowing Jimmy has to be off-camera
The toilet paper bears
Matt calls out Dan on his “fake-glasses-as-rain-goggles” scheme
The ethnicity of the Pardo name
Ramping up to Gary’s introduction, Jimmy has to stop to discipline Dan
Gary was on Last Comic Standing
Remembering John Heffron; he’s not dead, they’re just remembering him
Gary talks about Last Comic Standing, and the wrong-headed Season 3 premise
Rich Voss’s Patrice O’Neal tribute
Mistakes and goofs at solemn ceremonies
Someone’s knocking at the door; could be Uncle Ernie
Jimmy has a question: how old to have to be before bashful bladder goes away
The valet is at the door and wants to be paid now
Kurt Rambis and the Showtime Lakers
Jimmy proves that he knows very little about the pre-1995 Lakers
70s vs. 80s: The Battle of the Decades
1980 hit songs
Gary makes an unprecedented and unannounced leap to the bathroom in mid-conversation
Doubts arise about whether Gary actually listens to the show
Gary says he ruined the whole thing by slam-drinking coffee
Dave Coulier and Jeff Foxworthy: handsome in person
Competing for the “nice guy” prize among comedians
Can anyone really “earn” being a dick?
Conan writer Brian Kiley, nicest tucked-in guy around
Gary on Conan
Back to guessing the number one song from 1980
Was Toni Tenille sexy?
Gary sings Designer Music
Matt guesses the group, and eventually the song
Jimmy saw cocaine in 7th grade
Gary’s neighbors the Himler (NOT Himmler!) family
Killing regional accents
Gary’s Chicago racist accent
Gary’s mall performances
Gary’s mom: friends with everyone
Gary’s false baseball-card stealing accusation
Matt’s Mad Minute Multiplication Mayhem
Gary’s childhood tape-recorded show
Mick Lazinski’s mid-show potty break
Fred Stoller’s standup and acting
Jimmy’s off-nights comedy club idea
Gary’s New York club shows
Why Gary moved to New York
If I like you, I’ll make fun of you
What is the deal with Origins gumballs?
Is it ok for famous comedians to be hacky?
Laughing at repeat jokes
Show prep is easier for a suit-comic
Like Mr. Rogers, Jimmy is a sellout to Big Cardigan (joke stolen)
The golden age of development deals
Don’t waste development dollars on young comics
Revisiting old wounds from Pardcastathon 2011
The most abrupt and awkard throw-to-break in the history of NNF
Vocabulary word of the day: prescient
Gary brought Nothing Bundt Cakes
Jimmy can add Alan Arkin to his impersonation arsenel
Jimmy offers everyone a bundt cake. Everyone but Matt.
Gary on XM Comedy
Residual money from XM is a godsend, like a second job
Jimmy head-fakes Gary into revealing his XM residuals
Gary, by his own admission, has brought a terrific gift
Gary falls for the Dale Carnegie methods every time
Buying a new car for Danielle
The wonderful features of Danielle’s new car: gas cap and glove box
What is the deal with glove compartments?
Matt: the over-analyzing unfunny guy
Apparently car choice is a much more private topic to Jimmy than masturbation, sex, raising Oliver, or therapy
The NNF crew really likes Jimmy; who’d o’ thunk?
Paul Giamatti is younger than Jimmy
Dylan Walsh should play Jimmy in the Never Not Funny movie
Neil Patrick Harris vs. Jason Bateman
Eric Bana as Gary Gulman
Jewish holiday rituals
Gary feels he is an unworthy guest
Gulman predicts how he will be trashed by the comedy nerds
Bombing and killing: what’s it like?
Hey, Jimmy, are you still doing the comedy thing?
AK-47 gone, not forgotten
In-studio notes by Dan Katz
0 – Jimmy is standing right now. Jimmy forgets which episode # it is. Let’s get some disco pants for Dan. Jimmy is gonna start doing stand-up at strip clubs. Jay Leno pops in for a while.
5 – The guys talk about Gabrielle Carteris of Beverly Hills 90210.
10 – Jimmy ramps up guest Gary Gulman.
15 – Gary’s valet guy shows up.
20 – The guys talk about basketball.
25 – 40: I didn’t have my computer.
45 – Gary talks about his job working for a baseball selling store. He got accused of stealing. He was innocent. He started crying, which was considered an admission of guilt. Gary talks about a talk show he did when he was 11 called “The Fart Show.”
50 – The guys talk about the woes of stand-up.
55 – Gary talks about being a comic in NY.
60 – The guys talk about what kind of clothes to wear while doing comedy.
65 – The guys talk about comedians who land tv shows.
0 – Gary brought some cupcakes. The guys talk about checks they get from XM radio.
5 – The guys love salesmen who say your name when you talk to them.
10 – Who would play who in the Never Not Funny movie?
15 – The guys talk Jewish. The guys talk about question that civilians ask comedians.