617 – Dave Holmes with special guest Jay Patrick Spaulding

Release date 2/17/2010

Pardcast.com message board for this episode

Intro: Eliot from High Mountain sitting in for Andrew, who is in Canada dodging the draft

2:45 Matt is full of filth for still wearing the same shirt he slept in

3:30 Behind Jimmy, dressed as the devil, Jay Patrick Spaulding

4:00 The Devil Went Down to Georgia!

5:00 The Tony Randall of Never Not Funny, biked in to cover for Pat Francis: Dave Holmes!

6:30 Matching Sketchfest t-shirts

7:45 “Company is coming over”

8:45 Who does J.P. Spaulding look like? That one guy? Or that other guy?

10:45 Spaulding, get a Fresca or a Shasta

11:15 Dave’s Alka Seltzer follow up to Wing Street wings

12:30 Food from 7-11

12:45 BW3: Buffalo Wild Wings

13:30 Wing Stop, pitched by John Elway

13:45 Superbowl talk!

14:30 Betty White, future Saturday Night Live host?

15:00 Facebook group: Bring Never Not Funny to Chicago

15:30 Smile Train total: $16,000.69 plus Pardcast-a-Thon proceeds

17:00 Real wine lovers sniff glasses / Wet campfire

19:30 “You know I’m a yes-and guy…”

20:00 Sing Along with Jimmy: Fire and Rain

21:00 Robot Apocalypse

22:00 The three versions of 2001: A Space Oddysey

22:30 John Lithgow and Doug Benson

23:30 Clint Howard was terrific in Gentle Ben

24:00 Kevin Smith, flying while fat

24:30 Sing Along with Jimmy: These Eyes / The Grass Who

25:30 Jimmy’s guitar lessons

26:15 Rock Dakota!

27:00 Jimmy take J.P. Spaulding down. Hard!

27:45 Dave at Outside Lands

28:15 Big Star

29:15 Sing Along with Jimmy: Hallelujah

29:45 Mother Nature did it to Haiti

31:00 We Are the World … with Justin Bieber?!

35:30 Sing Along with Jimmy: We Are the World

36:30 We simply must know about World B. Free

38:00 Basketball All-Star game

38:30 Dave gets overly hugged at Outside Lands

39:30 Wilco

41:15 Converse shoes from Sarah and Ron Holt

42:00 Darryl chose this life: NeverNotNotes.com (yes it’s searchable)

43:00 ThatsOnYouMan.com for the mic-throwing t-shirt

43:30 Pinup Pastries supplied the cupcakes for the podcast

45:15 “It’s fair to say that this show has broken down…”

46:30 21 Wing Street, and a peek behind the curtain

47:45 These cupcakes are DELICIOUS, despite Matt’s reaction

50:00 Dave’s NBC pilot The Strip

56:00 Chatting, mind-games, and egos at auditions

59:00 Dave’s screen test

1:02:00 Dave doesn’t want to not be Dave

1:03:30 I’m a Celebrity, Get Me Out of Here

1:06:00 Jimmy’s super-close friends Angie and Francine

1:07:00 Dave’s forgettable friend of a friend

1:08:30 “I can’t stop not thinking about you!”

1:09:45 Dave’s imaginary contact lenses

1:11:30 Dead monkey dot net

1:11:45 Break time!

1:13:00 Positive vibes about the pilot

1:14:00 Dave in Vegas

1:15:00 Matt’s anger at mint chocolate chip

1:15:30 Dave gets yelled at by a hooker

1:17:45 Sing Along with Jimmy: Imagine

1:17:45 Original We Are the World vs. new version

1:18:15 Sing Along with Jimmy: Never Gonna Give You Up

1:18:45 Astley vs. Parker Lewis

1:19:00 “Mark this time so I can isolate this gem.”

1:19:16 “When you open with Justin Bieber, you’ve lost me!”

1:20:00 The Return of Angry Matt Belknap

1:21:00 Introducing Jay Patrick Spaulding

1:22:30 Kennth Cole pilgrim shoes

1:23:00 Jay’s sports heroes (Detroit Tigers!)

1:24:00 Third generation cheese business

1:25:00 Way more cheese info than anyone will every need

1:26:10 Condo-buying, single life, and even more cheese talk

1:27:45 CheeseGuys.com (Your Jay Spaulding experience is not complete unless you click this link)

1:28:15 Sing Along with Jimmy: Goodnight and Thank You (Evita)

1:29:00 Sad, personal details about Jay’s personal life

1:29:45 Jimmy pries about Jay’s “activities”

1:30:30 Is Jimmy trying to get Jay to say The Secret Word?

1:30:45 Jay’s Sirius Radio habits

1:31:00 Jay’s musical tastes

1:33:00 Matt’s obsession with his car’s climate control temperature setting

1:33:45 Dave and drag-queen bingo

1:35:00 Dave is going to let Jay ride his pegs

1:35:30 Jay’s burgeoning comedy career

1:36:30 Jay is made of processed cheese

1:37:00 Details about Jay’s trip to L.A.

1:37:30 Jimmy and Matt educate Jay about special orders at McDonald’s

1:38:45 Jimmy’s quest for a vanilla shake from McDonald’s. Which he is boycotting.

1:39:30 What’s in a McDonald’s shake?

1:40:15 Dave tells us about Coldstone’s ice-cream which melts into pudding

1:40:45 Sing Along with Jimmy: She Blinded Me with Science

1:41:00 Matt likes Ice Pan

1:42:00 “I think you’re intimdated by Jaye P. Morgan.”

1:42:30 Oliver wants a new puzzle from Target

1:43:00 Sing Along with Jimmy: Sharp Dressed Man

1:43:15 After a piece of gold from Jay, Jimmy predicts the future of his career

1:44:30 Jay’s true facts

1:45:00 Jay’s “lady from Portland”

1:46:30 Stupid Question of the Week! Do you put ketchup all over your fries (like a disgusting pig), or dip the fries into them (like a gentleman)?

1:48:00 “I can’t get over how sorry I am.”

1:49:00 Dave found out how much poo he has eaten

1:49:30 Beef tallow awareness

1:49:45 Sing Along with Jimmy: We Are the World

1:50:00 Jay’s big solo

1:50:15 Auctioning off a part in We Are the World

1:50:45 “Jay paid $579 to hear his name over and over.”

1:51:15 More controversy over who Jay looks like

1:51:30 The future of cheese, Jay, and comedy

1:52:30 Plugs: Never Not Notes, That’s On You Man, Cheese Guys, Dave Holmes.TV, Twitter: @JPSpaulding, Jay on Facebook

Oonnn dahayk!