1004 – Tig Notaro
PARDCAST.COM MESSAGE BOARD FOR THIS EPISODE
Intro
Jimmy is enjoying the aughts and weird eye-contact with the camera
Kale Krunch, blech
Dice’s Lady is protective about Dan
Smokin’ O.P.s (Pronounced Oh Pees)
Happy New Year!
Is Jimmy worried about the apocalypse?
James Woods and the 9/11 dry-run
5:00
“Please Come to Boston”
Even off-air, Jimmy can’t help insulting Eliot
Shrinky-Dinks: still fun, but let’s not talk about it
Matt is still The Administrator Squirrel
Jimmy has waited too long to have Tig Notaro on
Jimmy remembers going to sleep on 9/10/01
Tig’s credits
Tig’s podcast: Professor Blastoff
10:00
Tig couldn’t find the Never Not Funny Studio Complex
Episode 60, with just Matt and Jimmy, was the worst episode ever
Tig’s Conan sets are among Jimmy’s favorites
Check out Tig’s risk-taking set on Conan
Tig NO-TAR-O, not NO-TARE-O
15:00
Street Smarts, the game show
Jimmy’s adorable little creature Oliver
Tig wants to know about Oliver’s bathroom hygiene, infuriating Jimmy
20:00
Oliver makes a peepee joke
Car alarm near Jimmy’s house
Tig’s Leno-sighting in a Fiat 500
Tig’s Last Comic Standing refusal blocked her from The Tonight Show
25:00
Welcome to the holiday, pre-taped, kid’s-show edition of Never Not Funny
“How are cars made?”
Why Dan doesn’t have a microphone
Tig hates Purell
Danielle claps like Micky Mouse
Here begins the epic “together-out” clapping sequence
30:00
“By the way…” = “I want to talk now”
Together-out reprise
Matt’s annoying childhood music teacher: taaa-taaa-tee-tee-ta
Feigning painful urination
No one can remember “together-out” from 5 minutes ago
35:00
The bit no one can remember is already in the NNF Hall of Fame
Strangely incomplete Chicago band trivia about refusing a gig
“Together-out” causes an early break to go back and listen
EARLY BREAK
Yes, the listeners already knew it was “together-out”
40:00
The entire listening audience is furious
swaddling Oliver like a burrito
Cafe Gratitude’s ridiculous and humiliating menu item names
“You are a burrito”
45:00
Tig’s eating habits
Comedy coaching by Matt
Tig wants to tell a story without a punchline, but Matt is all up in her head about it, and anger abounds
Tig bikes from Montreal to Portland, Maine, resulting in a September 10, 2001 story
50:00
Tig’s bike route shadowed the 9/11 terrorists
This is proof that stories don’t need punchlines
55:00
Jimmy Pardo’s favorite movie is Breaking Away, and now it can be Googled
Tig cycles around Europe
Clipless bicycles have clips, but so do the ones without clips
Clips
More about clips
English words of pain in France
1:00:00
BREAK
Tig Ol’ Bitties: NOT a good name for Tig’s CD
Once again, Jimmy forgets “together-out”
The special bonus DVD from Tig: Tig at your party
1:05:00
Coerced into eating a cookie, Matt has adorable crumbs on his sweater
Zoe and Christmas at UCB: “Not this place!”
The Chipmunks are Oliver’s dudes
Anti-movie Oliver
Oliver’s first trip to McDonald’s
1:10:00
“You are a hunk of sausage”
Danielle’s nanny career
McDonald’s vs. Cafe Gratitude
Where does Tig not live?
1:15:00
Everything you need to know about Tig’s Mormon assistant
Waddle vs. toddle
Don’t call your mom hot, especially if she listens to your podcast
Gene Siskel vs. Matt’s step-father
Thank God Jimmy is a country boy
1:20:00
James Pardo’s fame helped him avoid a ticket
Jimmy should have used “Joseph Smith!” as a curse when yelling at Tig’s assistant
Australian-accented “tattoo”
Jimmy’s work schedule
1:25:00
Why the podcast goes for 90 minutes
Explaining Dice’s Lady
Negative comments about Tig do not bother her
1:30:00
Don’t bad-talk Jimmy on his own Facebook page
Welcome to Whisper Radio
The World’s Quietest Jingle Bells
“Together-out”
AK-47 gone, not forgotten
10 – Guest Tig Notaro did one of Jimmy’s favorite sets on Conan. Risk-taking.
15 – The guy’s talk about the fact that Jimmy doesn’t put toilet seat coverings on public toilet seats when he brings Oliver to the bathroom.
20 – Oliver peed standing up for the first time ever. Jimmy thinks he saw a stolen car get dumped in front of his house. Tig saw Jay Leno after doing Conan the other day.
25 – Tig tells a great karate story. The guys continue to try and properly pronounce Tig’s last name.
30 – The guys clap a lot. Tig loves to pretend she’s in pain whenever she’s in a public bathroom.
35 – Early break to figure out what everyone was saying during the clap game. The guys take another
40 – Tig talks about Café Gratitude. ***YOU ARE BURRITO***
45 – Tig tells the Goldilocks story and then tells her 9/10 story.
50 – Tig did a bike race on 9/10. It was 288 miles. The last 50 miles, her knee was blown out, and had to peddle one-legged. At the end of the story, 9/11 happens.
55 – Tig talks about bicycle training in France.
BREAK
0 – Tig should’ve named her stand-up album “Tig Ole Bitties.” Tig talks about some DVD’s that come for free with hard copies of her album.
5 – Jimmy took Oliver to McDonald’s for the first time ever.
10 – Interactions with Tig’s assistant.
15 – The guys talk step parents.
20 – It feels like we’re winding down.
25 – The guys talk about internet comments.