Remembering Pardcastathon 2011

Pardcastathon 2011 is now but a memory of good times and a good cause: approximately $35,000 raised for Smile Train. This is the first year I was not able to attend in person. Despite Pat Francis trying to spread the rumor that this is because of my recent status as married man, it’s really because I have travelled way more this past year than I ever have, running out of vacation days and travel budget. There’s always next year!

But this year, I attended the second-best way: by watching the streamed video while hosting a chatroom for fans. Ustream provides its own chatroom, but the consensus is that since it’s a public room, anyone who happens to randomly come across the stream can participate in the chat, which can produce a signal-to-noise ratio above the threshold of enjoyment for true fans.

The chatroom was a fun time, with 20 to 35 fans participating at any  time. So, thanks to everyone who participated in the chatroom. And for anyone who found out too late, I’m very sorry. I posted the link in the related threads on AST, and sent some private messages to a few people on Facebook, but making too public an announcement would have, obviously, destroyed any advantage of a private fans-only chatroom.

Now, I have a hard enough time keeping up with my note duties for the regular episodes, so obviously it would be a tall order to create a detailed Never Not Notes entry for the Pardcastathon. But here are some highlights. Times are approximate of course.

6:00 pm Pacific Time

Jimmy greets the theater audience, and thinks he is getting them warmed up in preparation for the live feed to go out, then is told that the live feed has indeed already begun. He introduces Matt Belknap and Pat Francis. Everyone notes that Dan Katz is dressed similar to Pee Wee Herman. $8004.69 has already been donated before the show even started. Jimmy tells about eBay items that will raise money for Smile Train as well.

Jesse Thorn

A dapper Jesse brings some bags of satsumas, incredibly easy-to-peel citrus fruits, for the audience to share but come on people he needs his grocery bags back.

After Jesse’s segment, fan Ken Roberts gets busted texting, but he is actually visiting our chatroom, which results in an early Darryl Shoutout, the first of more than necessary or desired by any of the fans, except for me.

 Amy Poeler

Amy tells that one sign of lying is the avoidance of using contractions, making contraction-avoiding Jimmy Pardo very defensive.

Joe Lo Truglio

The guys talk about cars, karaoke, and how Matt slammed into a glass non-door before the show, causing a huge bump on his head and possible confusion.

John Ross Bowie

Jazz tobacco, Bernadette Peters, and Chicago Christmas albums. Oh, and “wizz-machine” comes into popular usage.

Lisa Loeb

Incredibly endearing pop songstress Lisa talks about her children’s book/CD set, her plans to autograph them at Costco, and sings Dirty Work plus an adorkable song about a disappointing pancake as well as her hit song Stay (I Miss You).

Rachel Quaintence

It’s a blue-eyed shootout when Jimmy welcomes his former co-host of AMC’s Movies at Our House. They reaffirm their plans to get married once they are both unencumbered, sometime in their 80s. At least if Bernadette Peters is not available.

Adam Carolla

Adam stops by to brag about his greatest achievement in showbiz: building the bench that resides in the Acme Theatre. He brings it onstage to show us the finer points of its construction, and expresses outrage that his work of art has been defiled with used chewing gum.

Walter Koenig

Walter Koenig, famously known as Star Trek’s Mr. Chekov is absolutely delightful and more than holds his own with son-in-law Jimmy as he knocks it out of the park with stories of being mistaken for Danielle’s lover and being propositioned by an octogenarian.

Danielle Koenig

It’s a tough act to follow her dad, but Danielle delights the crowd as always, regaling us with the trials of trying to get a corn dog for Oliver, which was made difficult by the unavailability of an octopus. (Note that Danielle and her father both used “Octo” in their stories.)

Wayne Federman

Wayne tells us about the scariest show on television (Snapped! Women who Kill) and his love for, or rather, dependence upon fast food restaurants, without which he would starve to death.

 Andy Richter

Andy is proud of being one of the top daily total winners ever on Jeopardy, even with the caveat that is was the “celebrity version” and addresses the controversial issue of whether or not you should top your sweet potatoes (or yams) with marshmallows and other delicious sweets.

12:00 midnight
Janet Varney

Janet is disappointed that she brought treats, only to find that there were already a ton of treats. This thing has gone way too Hollywood since its humble year-one beginnings. She also talks about her role in her latest series.

Jon Hamm

Jon is intoxicating as always. He has a nodule in his throat, which totally and completely explains his gravelly voice, heavy eyes, and overall loopy demeanor. Totally and completely explains it, do you hear me? He also talks about James Garner, the Dukes of Hazzard, and Cardinals player Ted Simmons. Jon will make a couple cameos in the coming hour.

Paul Gilmartin

Paul comes out swinging, talking about “the elephant in the room.” He then has to defend his podcast, The Mental Illness Happy Hour against Pat’s insistence that it should just be called The Crybaby Hour. 

Rebecca Corey

Rebecca is to-date the most controversial Never Not Funny guest, due to her references to “midgets.” Jimmy and Rebecca discuss that, as well as Rebecca’s pit bull rescue efforts. Dan Kane adds to the cause by feeding a photo of a ferocious pit bull to the in-house video monitors.

Todd Levin

Todd brings us some great conversation starters, brought to us by the Omaha Steak People. Who would have thought that they would be so willing to be controversial in the name of helping us all to connect through light conversational topics?

Bil Dwyer

If volume = funny, then Bil is the funniest man alive! He’s pretty damn funny regardless, and also pretty damn loud, which sends him spiraling into self-loathing and wondering how anyone, even his loving wife, can put up with him. He also needs to be reminded that his favorite IKEA furniture item is the JEFF chair. The chair is called JEFF. It’s a JEFF chair.

Eli Braden

Eli sings some funny songs, accompanying himself on the guitar, notably one about white people problems, but barely escapes the wrath of Jimmy when he wants to sing a song about a tasteless (and certainly foul-tasting) sexual act. Pat is fan of Eli’s tweets.

Graham Elwood

Graham shows up looking more dapper than he has even been, wearing one the suits he talked about buying back on Episode 319 of Never Not Funny. He advises us on the finer points of suit-wearing and pocket-squares.

Rich Sommer

Rich reminds us that he’s just an actor on Mad Men while Jon Hamm is a producer and director as well, so he may not be privy to all the inside scoop that Jon has. But he does explain that the show will remain in the 1960s, despite the misunderstood quote from creator Matthew Weiner.

Dave Holmes

Dave talks about being quoted in the MTV book and gives us some behind-the-scenes inside scoops of his dealing with head-swelled pop stars.

Greg Behrendt

Greg shows up looking somewhat like Great Uncle Greg from the Old Country, and closes it out solid with complaints about traveling in the confined atmosphere of a airplane. He nearly kills a very tired Jimmy with his reference to a baby-sized fart.

6:00 AM
Closing words and final tally: $34,636.69
See you next year!